Golden and inticing, beautiful and enchanting, the jewel-encrusted door beckoned me. I had to open it! My hand rested on the doorknob, the design on it was most peculiar. A sparkling dragon with ruby wings; emerald eyes; a dimond tail and a marvellous golden body.
Delicatly I twisted it and the sound was deafining! A giant mix of whispers and secrets, laughs and scowls. Everything you could ever hear in one, bubbling potion. Confused, I attempted to close it again but only white stood there. Where the manor had stood, where everything had stood, now was completely blank.
What a fantastic piece of work Grace. Your description is just fabulous. I love your use of imaginative vocabulary which really keeps the reader's interest. I think this is hard to improve but I would say just check your use of punctuation in parts. Have a look at the sentence which begins..'My hand rested on the doorknob..'
ReplyDeleteBrilliant writing. I am very proud of you and the work you produce.
Mrs P
Wow! What a good pieceof writing Grace. I really like your use of metaphor and the descriptions that you use. You have really put across your ideas well.
ReplyDeleteWow, Grace, what a beautifully crafted piece of writing: I particularly like the idea of the 'bubbling potion' of noise - quite an image!
ReplyDeleteMr K :-)
wow i like that story its cool
ReplyDeleteWow, I haven't been on here for AGES! I forgot how awesome 100 word challenges were! This one's great, quite Harry Potter-ish, which is always good! Also, I made a new blog of my own, dedicated to doctor who, which I have become slightly obsessed with... thefieldsoftrenzalore.blogspot.co.uk, but, of course, I haven't had nearly as many pageviews as this brilliant blog (yay, alliteration) has! See you soon maple class!
ReplyDeleteFrom Pandagirl (aka Rosie but that sounds boring)