As the mice prepared for
themselves for battle, the other side (the ants) did a rather peculiar thing.
After cleaning their antennae they began to form a strange shape which most
humans would know as a helicopter. The ants, it appeared, were going for the chocolate
by air!
I dashed
back to warn the mice that they had to speed up or the ants would retrieve the
last piece of chocolate which was rightfully theirs.
As a badger, when the mice started to panic and scatter, I instantly leapt into control.
Starting to despair, the abbot took to my side. “ Old friend, will we ever get
the chocolate.” …
Ester, what an imagination you have! Great use of vocabulary such as 'peculiar, retrieve and despair'. A well written, unusual use of the prompt.
ReplyDeleteMrs P
Thankyou, Mrs P, I will try to use that type of vocabulary more often!
DeleteWell done Ester, I like the word 'peculiar' This is a strange way of writing the prompt, but it is amazing! Well done on using speech in your work! Next time, try and use adverbs at the beginning of a sentence.
ReplyDeleteCharlotte.W
ww.6d2012.highlawnprimry.net
I will give the addverbs a go.
DeleteA battle over a peice of chocolate, wish I could of come up with that! All in all a very good 100 word challenge. Your best aspect were your interesting words I especially liked the word 'appeared', 'rightfully' and 'dashed'. Mayby
ReplyDeletenext time you could use a question mark at the end of your 100 word challenge, like this: “ Old friend, will we ever get the chocolate?”. Your friend Harrison at 6d.2012.highlawnprimary.net
This was a great 100wc Ester! I love the way you have done it from the view point of a bader, but you don't tell the reader untill you get near the end,(thats a good thing!) I love the way you use imaginative and interisting words, like instead of useing 'wierd, you used 'peculiar'.
ReplyDeleteWell done!
From Poppy.
Hi Ester, I loved the way you ran away with imagination. And also you use your vocabulary very well, I wish I could travel with you on your imagination walk, because I'm not that good at use my imagination. Anyway what a fabulous way to use the prompt, because I've read a couple that have said there the chocolate. But there great, I just like a bit of a different tale. From Charlotte.:):):)
ReplyDeleteI really loved how creative this is!!!
ReplyDeleteIts truly original!
Hi Ester,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your 100 word challenge this week. I loved the way you used creative words like peculiar and dashed back, I thought that was a really good way of describing what they were doing and what they looked like. I really enjoyed the end where you left the story on a cliff hanger leaving everyone wondering if they got the chocolate or not.
Well Done Ester a really good 100 word challenge, it deserves to be on the blog.
From Chloe
I like how creative it is and how you put it into a viewpoint of a badger! I also like that you describe the ants as a helicopter. This is a great way to write your 100 word challenge!
ReplyDeleteI didn't just describe them as a hellecopter, they had actually taken the shape of one!
DeleteHi Ester its Emily here
ReplyDeleteI know how much you like animals...
I think its really creative that you brought them in to this 100 wc its a great piece of writing and as chloe said it deserves a place on the maple class blog!
Wow Ester that is a great 100 word challenge you are a really descruiptive writer.
ReplyDeleteGreat story ester I really enjoiyed it it was like reading a story from David wallim
ReplyDeleteWow! I didn't think it was that good!
DeleteWOW Ester that's a really good 100wc and I really like how you left the story on a question cliff hanger it was really good!
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Ester. You have a great imagination and I loved reading your story. You created real tension in the story and it was fun to read. I also liked the open ending to the piece, it leaves your readers wanting more!
ReplyDeleteWow, thankyou!
Deletei love your 100wc ester and the fact that you included animals in it i wish i could do a 100wc as well as you its really really cool.
ReplyDeleteWow Ester that was great.Did the mice get the chocolate? Did the ants take to the sky?
ReplyDeleteHi ester,
ReplyDeletedid the mice clame vitory, a bit surprised it wasn't Rats but supoise mice have advantages they could spin their tails realy fastand fly
not that Rats cant.
pr
(please reaply)
Like I said, I don't know about the mice but the reason I didn't use rats because I fancied a bit of a change.
DeleteHi Ester. That was really good because you used bracets in your work and used good wow words like 'perculier'. Next time you could vary your operners.
ReplyDeleteReece and Nathan (http://6d2012.highlawnprimary.net/)
Wow! What a great 100 word challenge Ester. Well done for using brackats in your writing and also usind great adjectives such as 'dashed'.
ReplyDeleteHello Ester,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed really enjoyed reading your 100WC. you used lots of adjectives. I also like how you have used peculiar. Maybe you could use some similes next time.
Hello Ester,
ReplyDeleteI like the idea of helicopter next time put a few full stops.
Wow ester that is amazing i love the vocabulary its amazing you are really good at writing everything you write is really good you always do amazingly well at hundred word chalenges i think there very very good well done
ReplyDeletefrom elise in maple