Monday 24 September 2012

LaurenY's 100 Word Challenge Week 2


Hi,
You have just entered the brilliant but boring world of Ally Love!
I’ve got this new boyfriend you see his name is Lewis. My parents don’t approve of him. Anyway moving on from that, but just before we do he’s got blue eyes a great smile white teeth. Sorry sorry I get in a daydream when ever I talk about him. We were just sitting down to dinner when Mum and Dad announced they were getting a divorce form that day my world started to fall apart almost every day witch I HATE! 

6 comments:

  1. I like your work it was realy funny.

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  2. Hi Lauren, well done for completing the 100 word challenge. I like that your story is in a diary format. It is quite informally written which is good for a diary style of writing although it wouldn't work to be so 'chatty' in all stories. Maybe next time try to use more descriptive language and longer sentences to create a more detailed picture of the characters and action occurring in the story. Keep up the great writing, I look forward to reading more.

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  3. Well done lauren your story is really good you have made it like a diary entry and i love the way you said " sorry sorry i like your just get in a daydream when i talk about him" i think that bit is really good.I really like the way you did that.

    Elise

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  4. Wow Laren great 100wc I wish I was as gifted writer as you you are really gifted.

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  5. Wow great 100wc that is a nice diary entery but i think you could a bit more full stops .Well done

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  6. Wow! Lauren, this is an amazing entry! I like your first sentence ' Hi, You have just entered the brilliant but boring world of Ally Love!' I really like how you have wrote it as a sort of diary entry. Remember to check your work, because you have forgetten some puntuction, and spelt a few words wrong!
    Please visit our blog:
    www.6d2012.highlawnprimary.net and comment on our work (especially mine!) From CharlotteW

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